During difficult periods in life, especially in conditions of forced migration, many people notice that they become harder on themselves. Thoughts appear: “I have to be strong”, “I have no right to complain”, “Others are even worse”... These attitudes can help to hold on, but at the same time they create strong internal pressure and exhaustion.
Every person has an inner voice that evaluates and criticizes. It is formed through childhood experiences, social norms and interaction with other people (ego part). Normally, this voice helps to adapt, but when it becomes too harsh, there is a feeling that you are “not enough”, regardless of your efforts.
It is important to distinguish between the concepts of shame and guilt. Guilt: “I made a mistake (focus on actions). Shame: “Something is wrong with me” (focus on the personality). Guilt can be useful. Shame often undermines self-esteem and makes you avoid showing it.
Why is it intensified during emigration? Adaptation to a new life is often associated with: loss of familiar roles, language difficulties, comparing yourself with others, fear of mistakes. And in such conditions, self-doubt naturally grows - and the “inner critic” becomes louder.
This manifests itself through constant self-criticism, a feeling of “I am not enough”, difficulty asking for help, fear of being “uncomfortable”, guilt for rest or your own needs.
Psychological resilience is the ability to support yourself in difficult moments. And it’s important to remember that you don’t become better by being hard on yourself. Change starts with self-support and self-empathy: “Becoming your own best friend.”
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